Saturday, April 30, 2011

job changes

well the last little while has been interesting... so rumors have been flying around at work that they were going to disband my shift. Well yesterday was when I got pulled aside and told that this was in fact true. Sadly my supervisor was going to put me on nights due to the fact that I one of the lowest seniority wise. That means 5 p.m. to 1:30 a.m. Soon as he said that I kept telling him that I couldn't do nights and seriously was balling my eyes out. I was hormonal anyways but that was the topper on the cake. I think I kind of scared everyone because I was so emotional and I never get that upset. I knew if I was put on nights that I would NEVER see my husband that when we have kids we would have a babysitter constantly and that is the one thing I refuse to allow is to have my kids raised by a babysitter or daycare.
But I guess the crying worked because not an hour later I was offered another position in the mornings. 7 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. Not too bad plus Kyle and I can actually spend time with one another. I am really looking forward to that.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Special Witnesses of Christ (8)

this is my favorite video and explains christ's atonement the best.


Easter always makes me happy partially because it marks the beginning of spring but also because it one of the few times the world openly celebrates Christ. It is the one time a year that we as a human population get to celebrate the sacrifice of Christ. When I think of the sacrifice of the atonement I don't just think of his sacrifice but also the sacrifice that a loving Heavenly Father made. I mean how difficult must it of been to know the hardships and persecutions and pain a son would go through and still know that he must suffer it, so that all may be saved.
I think of the pain that Jesus Christ suffered. How many of the blood drops that were shed were for me? I think of all the pain that he suffered with out complaint. When he was in the Garden of Gethsemane taking on the sins of the world. Taking away my sins. I know I am not perfect and I know that I have made mistakes and will continue to make mistakes. But I know because of him I can repent and get up and try again.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

month of crazy

Well this last little while has been exiting to say the least. Well it all started with a trip to the doctors.... I thought I might be pregnant, lets set the record straight I am NOT! But back to my story I thought I might be I had all the symptoms, plus the lovely fact I was 3 weeks late on my cycle. But the funny thing is I would take the home pregnancy tests and they would all come up negative. So I went to the doctors he did a blood test which was also negative. But they found and elevated amounts of prolactin a hormone that is produced by the pituitary gland. When the doctor found this out he sent me off to the hospital to get a CAT scan. Oh this is my worst fear I am so closterphobic mostly in tight places. But if anyone thinks that being placed in a small tube where my elbows are constantly hitting the walls, having something on my face and the surrounding surface maybe 4 inches from my body is fun or therapeutic THINK AGAIN!
I went in thinking okay I am going to concur my fear, I can so this! Yeah not so great I get put on this slab and they start putting pillows around my face so I will not move my head and then this thing comes on my head. They try disguising this as anything other then a torture tactic by putting a warm blanket over you, but it doesn't work with me I know the truth! When I get in there I seriously start balling my eyes out. It is anything but fun and I would not wish this on my worst enemy. Soon as I am able to calm down the thing jolts me forward and backward and I start crying all over again. The whole time this sweet little voice is on the intercom "your doing great Mrs. Stewart!" Of course I am, I am stuck in a tiny tube with no escape what else do you expect me to do? I can't exactly run away! I guess because I wasn't screaming hysterically I was doing great!
Well then I got to see the doctor again, found out that I have a small growth on my pituitary gland (not cancerous) that is causing the elevated level of prolactin. He explained the side effects of not doing anything could be very harmful. It could cause diabetes, infertility, and if left long enough it could cause heart problems. Well I didn't want that. I have no desire to have heart problems or diabetes thank you very much and I want to be able to have kids. I remember when I was younger we had a school project to come up with a job for a job fair and my 7 year old self decided I would be a mom. Most of the students were telling me that wasn't a real job but my teacher loved it. (Helped that she had a son that was like 2.)
Anyways the doctor told me that there was something we could do... I get to take pills for the rest of my life.... well at least till I hit metapause. Not really overly excited about this but I do want to be able to have kids. Besides it helps get rid of the pregnancy symptoms. So I take this tiny little half a pill 2 times a week not too bad. I nearly had a heart attack when we went to pick up the pills though, it made me so glad that we have insurance! For 4 pills it was $117 insurance covered all but $37 made me so happy. But for 4 pills that is insane! I get to go back next month and get more blood drawn to make sure the pills are doing there job properly. And I did some research and apparently it helps if I get more zinc in my diet so I am trying that as well. We will see what happens. I am not too worried.
Kyle has been amazing during this whole thing telling me things are going to be okay even though I think he was a little nervous himself. But I am so glad I have him by my side he is my knight in shinning armor! I love him and would be lost with out him!